Ancient magic, vampires and Jesus the magician: The Omega Course blog

Esoteric rituals, secret gospels, demons, hidden biblical truths, paranormal encounters, cryptic messages …

If you enjoy reading about any of the above then you will love The Omega Course. Stick with it through the first few introductory posts and it will soon suck you into its dark, secret world and have you questioning everything that you learned in your school RE classes…and in life in general. For instance, who knew that Jesus was accused of being a magician by both his opponents and followers ? Or that he was familiar with necromantic rituals involving the magical manipulation of the dead? And did he really use a wand during his miracle-working?

The last few years have seen a considerable rise in interest in the religious conspiracy genre, but 'The Omega Course' makes Dan Brown look like 'Spot The Dog'. The historical evidence backing the theories will certainly raise a few eyebrows and just try testing the water with a little research into any area of the blog and you’ll soon realise what a frighteningly factual and addictive read it is. In addition to the shocking revelations made about the Gospel stories, the mysterious characters that feature throughout, a series of disturbing paranormal events and even the promise that the secret to eternal life is hidden within, the reader will find plenty of art, music, photography and even a taste of gothic horror to keep him/her entertained.

If you consider yourself to be religious then it will certainly have you questioning your faith. If you are non-religious, then the blog will have you desperately trying to solve the secrets that are contained within…not to mention checking under your bed each night…

After all, who doesn’t want to live forever?

God Live Twitters Creation

Another religion related post today (well, I suppose it is a Sunday…)

Love this live feed excerpt from God’s Twitter during the early stages of creation (well, actually from Melinda Taub at Melinda Forever).

God: Gosh its dark in here. 7 days ago

God: There thats better. 7 days ago

God: Hey guys im finally on twitter! Whats up? 7 days ago

God: guys? 7 days ago

God: oh right. i’m the only thing in existence, haha. 7 days ago

God: shut up i wasnt talking 2 you RT @Satan I TOO EXIST 7 days ago

God: BOOORREEDD with endless void gonna make some stuff 7 days ago

God: Hey look what I did today! Separated the darkness from the light. Universe looks like a black and white cookie. 7 days ago

God: I shall call the light day and the darkness Eileen. 7 days ago

God: Darkness doesnt look like an Eileen. Lets go with night 7 days ago

God: Also i created heaven & earth. 7 days ago

God: also i created apostrophes but im not gonna use them 7 days ago

God: thats enough creating for now. Catch ya tomorrow 7 days ago

God: RT @Satan: WHAT IS “TOMORROW” 7 days ago

God: oh i forgot 2 mention i created time too. Busy day. 7 days ago

God: kind of lame creating 2day. Created a firmament. Not sure what that is 6 days ago

God: OMme so much 2 do 2day you guys! Got to bring 4th land from the waters AND create plants and trees. What should i do first?! 5 days ago

God: should have done land first. plants sank 5 days ago

God: fixed! Trees now ON TOP of land. 5 days ago

God: sorry no tweets yesterday guys. Made the sun moon & stars. turned out 2 be more work than i expected. Theyre bigger than they look. 3 days ago

God: another busy day. Made @beastsofthesea, @birdsoftheair, and best of all: @penguins. Those turned out so well. 3 days ago

God: made some more kinds of penguins. 3 days ago

God: Poll: What else should i make? a. beasts of the land b. creatures in my own image c. more penguins. 2 days ago

God: Answer my poll! 2 days ago

God: maybe it was a mistake to create the internet b4 invention of computers. 2 days ago

God: all right penguins it is. Yay! 2 days ago

God: oops. Penguins don’t like the desert. 2 days ago

God: or Indiana. 2 days ago

God: or the sky. 2 days ago

God: ill try the rainforest. Everything thrives in the rainforest. 2 days ago

God: Not penguins. 2 days ago

God: screw it. Made a bunch of other beasts of the land. Not as awesome as penguins but much less picky. 2 days ago

God: also created fake fossils and planted them in the ground 2 make the earth appear much older than it is. Just a little practical joke. 2 days ago

God: i need more followers. 2 days ago

God: #FollowFriday @adam @eve 2 days ago

God: @adam @eve I am the LORD your God who separated the light from the darkness. You shall have no other God before me for I am the LORD your Go
2 days ago

God: &#$%ing character limits. Point is, yay! I made you! Hi! Do what i say. 2 days ago

God: @adam: such as #noteatingapples. 2 days ago

God: @adam what do u mean why? Because im ur god and i said so. 2 days ago

God: @adam why r u bugging me about this? u can have all the mangoes u want and theyre way better. 2 days ago

God: @adam well youre just going to have to take my word for it. 2 days ago

God: @adam WHAT is ur DAMAGE with this apple thing? Eves not tweeting about apples. Shes just off – um – 2 days ago

God: @eve Hey! 2 days ago

God: @adam @eve: EPIC FAIL at #noteatingapples. Both of u r BANNED 2 days ago

God: so yesterday was really stressful. Im taking a break today. No more tweets til tomorrow. 1 day ago

God: Check it out, baby panda sneezing! http://tr.im/DsZ5 (took a break from my break to create YouTube.) 1 day ago



Pretty funny stuff, huh?

Edit: 12:34 22 November 2009

While we're on a religious theme, check out this hysterical vid for the 'Mass: We Pray' video game…

The Flaming Lips: Birmingham Academy 17 November 2009

Last Tuesday I made my biennial pilgrimage to see The Flaming Lips, this time at the new O2 Academy in Birmingham. I’m always exceptionally bouncy before a Flaming Lips gig, like an excitable child waiting to see Santa. And there are similarities; lots of confetti and glitter about the place and a tall, smiley, cordial looking man surrounded by lots of strangely dressed little people…

I found myself fairly close to the stage (which was pretty brave considering the fact that I am nursing a broken arm) and in the perfect position to experience the full Flaming Lips party extravaganza in its entirety. Yes, you can hear perfectly well from the seats on the balcony and see the fantastic stage set, but it’s not quite the same experience unless your hair is covered in confetti and there are large inflatable balls bouncing off your head! Wayne did his usual milling about on stage before the gig started; sound testing, checking equipment, saying hi to the crowd and informing the front two rows that they have five minutes to finish their beers before he uses them as a springboard to launch himself into the crowd at the opener. I love the fact that he still does this before each gig. It’s like the head teacher coming out on stage to check that the doll is in the crib before the school nativity play starts. Seeing Wayne and the rest of the band onstage beforehand breaks down the performer-audience barrier that is commonplace with most headline acts and brings a homely, almost amateurish (in a good way) feel to the whole thing. It makes you want to jump up on stage and help the crew to gaffer tape the mic stand down.

The support, Stardeath and White Dwalfs, were very entertaining and had the attention of the entire crowd throughout their set (I’ve had severe difficulty getting their cover of Madonna’s Borderline out of my head ever since!). Then the show started with the band being ‘born’ through a giant video screen at the back of the stage, quickly followed by Wayne who emerged in his giant, inflatable hamster ball, rolling out over the heads of the crowd and causing everyone to surge forward to get a touch of the ball in a ‘hem of his cloth’ kind of way. When he was safely deposited back on the stage, the opening bars of Race for the Prize fired up and the venue was flooded with confetti, streamers and a number of huge inflatable balloons that we began batting at each other like overgrown children on a food additive high. There were yetis and huge insects onstage and at one point Wayne sang whilst atop a man in a gorilla suit…

The set list followed the usual format with some tracks from the new album ‘Embryonic’ thrown in. Convinced of the Hex, Evil, Silver Trembling Hands and See the Leaves sounded fantastic and provided a good 50-50 mix of meditative and raucous tasters from the new album. Yes the Lip’s set list is always predictable – the hamster ball entrance and Race For The Prize at the opener, rounding off with She Don’t Use Jelly and Do You Realize? (my favourite Flaming Lips track and definitely in my top 5 favourite tracks of all time) as an encore - but I really wouldn’t have it any other way. There is an almost Masonic, ritualistic element to a Lips gig and messing with the ‘order of service’ would be like messing with the laws of nature.

But the gig did feel a little different than usual. The atmosphere was very mellow at times, largely due, I suspect, to the stripped down, sing-along versions of Fight Test and Yoshimi, the anti-war message relayed by Wayne’s touching rendition of Taps and the extended version of the unifying, love-in that is Do You Realize? Looking at the crowd around me they seemed poised at any moment to throw their arms around the stranger next to them, declare their love for the human race and break into Auld Lang Syne. There was a nostalgic, reflective vibe to the night, but certainly not a miserable one. The highs were just as high as I anticipated and every single person in the venue was jumping like a nutter and screaming their lungs out at some point (when not choking on confetti in the process…)

It was an excellent gig and I suspect that the Flaming Lips could not perform badly if they tried. They could cover Britney Spears songs all night and the crowd would be happy, as long as the confetti kept coming and Wayne led them in a rousing chorus at some point. And Wayne is such an amiable, lovable bloke that he could punch you in the face and you would apologise. In fact, an idiot who heckled him at one point was shot daggers by everyone around us and I honestly thought that there would be a public lynching. Plus there’s a real sense of solidarity in the fans at a Lip’s gig. When walking around town afterwards you can tell who has been to the gig by spotting the people with the wide grins on their faces (and the ones struggling to run away with large inflatable balloons that they’ve nicked when security wasn’t looking).

But Lips concerts are not just kid’s parties for grown-ups, the band continue to produce awesome music that keeps the fans coming back for more. In fact, in the current economic downturn and unsettled social climate they should be made compulsory listening for everyone. I will certainly be making the pilgrimage to see them next time they are in town and will continue to do so each time they bring their tour to the UK. Long live the Flaming Lips and all who sail in her.

I own Diva Cat (and Diva Cat pwns me)

Dear Mr/Miss cat-sitter,

Thank you for agreeing to look after my two cats while I am away on holiday.

Jet, my large black moggy, needs feeding twice a day (although she often gets a third meal) and letting out to use the garden to toilet in the morning and at night. Otherwise she is very happy to sit on a chair in the kitchen or the bench in the garden all day.

Amber, the Abyssinian, is a different matter.

1. Toilet. She doesn’t like going outside and will avoid getting her paws cold at any cost. She will rattle the keys in the door when she wants to go out and you must leave the porch door open and wait for her so that you can let her back into the house straight away. If left outside unaccompanied outside or for longer than 3 minutes, she will scratch at the window and whine like an air raid siren until the neighbours complain.

2. Feeding. She eats very little throughout the day and will often leave her food untouched. There are several reasons why she does is.

a. Food cannot be too hot or too cold. If it is fresh from the oven then you should blow on it for a few minutes before giving it to her. A burnt mouth results in days of sulking. If the food comes directly from the fridge then it will need leaving out for a few minutes to warm to room temperature.

b. All food MUST be cut into tiny pieces. Anything larger than bitesize or food that needs chewing will be ignored.

c. Her food dish cannot be put on the cat food mat because that is where Jet, the other cat, eats. She will NEVER walk to her dish and the food must be presented under her nose wherever she stands.

d. She tends not to like cat food or any kind of meat, except chicken. If all else fails, she likes vanilla and strawberry ice-cream, strawberry yoghurt, salmon and southern fried chicken.

3. Watering. Even though there is a water bowl next to her food dish, she will only drink out of her special mug. When she stands on the corner of the table (where I usually put my glass of water) that is the signal that she would like a drink. She will expect you to fetch one for her straight from the tap in her special mug. Watch your own glass though, if you’re not looking then she will try and drink out of it.

4. Furniture. She has a large scratching post that dominates the front room and she has claimed one of the leather chairs in the front room – the one with the cushion and cat blanket on it. If you accidentally sit in this chair then she will remind you by sitting on the scratching post opposite and whining aggressively.

5. Sleeping. There are three cat beds in the bedroom but these are for Jet. Amber doesn’t ‘do’ sleeping on the floor. She usually sleeps right in the middle of my bed at night (which is why I am so tired most mornings). She lolls against my stomach/back and pushes me further across the bed during the night. If she wants the pillow, she will scratch at my head until I move out of her way and clear some room. Due to her senior age, she often needs to pee in the middle of the night. She will rattle the front door keys and expect you to get out of bed by the second rattle, whatever hour of the morning it might be. Again, you will be expected to wait for her in the front porch, as outlined in point 1. Oh and she snores terribly.

6. Other notes.

If you are sitting on the sofa then she will expect to sit on your lap, no questions asked. Trying to move her will result in lots of whining and she will attach herself to you by digging her claws into your thighs. Attempting to remove her can be very painful.

She makes a lot of noise. I mean a lot of noise. I am convinced that she has adopted the British art of SHOUTING VERY LOUDLY when there is a communication problem. If you ignore her then she will begin a crescendo of repetitive meows that will gradually drive you insane…

She has a number of cat toys stuffed into the scratching post tunnel that she will randomly scatter throughout the house during the day. Please watch out for toy balls in the hallway, old shoelaces on the stairs and sopping wet catnip mice in the front room. She likes to keep me on my toes (and once in a while, off them…)

Never, ever laugh at her. If she walks into a wall or falls off something then just ignore it and laugh in another room. She knows that you’re mocking her and instantly flies into a foul mood (which inevitably results in taking her frustration out on the other cat)…

Never introduce her to other cats. Or people, for that matter. She does not mix socially and even the friendliest of encounters inevitably ends in a fight. Having said that, I am trying to correct her hatred of other cats by encouraging her to engage in social networking. She now has her own Twitter page, http://twitter.com/thedivacat, and can bitch away about me and life in general to her heart’s content (although I am limiting her online use to 2 hours a day).

Thank you once again (and Good Luck!),

The Muse xoxo

Frisky Fancy Dress: Because party animals come in all sizes…

It’s nearly party season again!! Woop!

Around 70% of the parties that I’ve attended this year have been fancy dress, which is great fun because I love dressing up in silly costumes at every given opportunity. But no thanks to Facebook and other photo sites, I’ve been forced (well, willingly forced) to buy a new costume for each party. Now there are two problems with this: a) it’s getting bloody expensive and b) there are only a limited number of pirate/policewoman/small woodland creature outfits on sale. But for some women there is an additional problem. Size.

By chance, on Thursday morning, I found myself chatting to a guy who owns a business specialising in plus size fancy dress costumes for men and women from sizes 16-40+. The website, www.friskyfancydress.com, is absolute genius. The costumes are handmade to the customer’s exact measurements so that they fit perfectly and flatter the figure.

I must admit that, in my experience, it seems that most fancy dress costumes for women are aimed at sizes 10-12, with anything above a size 14 classed as ‘large’. And some of my friends who have a ‘fuller figure’ tell me that they feel very self-conscious when crammed into a revealing outfit that is two, or more, sizes too small. So thanks, Frisky Fancy Dress, for paying some well-deserved attention to this often neglected group and keeping women (and men) partying throughout the year, whatever their size!


Edit: 22 November 09

The Miss Sassy Santa costumes are so cute and here is a pic of me in mine. It fits perfectly and feels fantastic to wear, I love it so much! In fact, I might keep in on every day throughout December…

The Death of Biblical Studies

University Biblical Studies Departments. Ok, ok, I’ll give you a second to snigger to yourselves and imagine lots of strange-looking, tweed clad men smoking pipes in the corner of a lecture room. You’re probably spot on in some cases, but surprisingly Biblical Studies, and Theology in general, has become pretty cool of late. I suppose we have Dan Brown and the conspiracy theorists to thank for that. Just try going into your local pub and starting a conversation with the locals about God, heaven, what happens to baddies when they die, how the universe began etc and before long you will have folk standing on the tables and ranting at each other. I’ve seen close ‘theology is booooring’ friends come to blows during these discussions and loved-up married couples at each others throats. Great sport, if you’re bored one evening...

Besides, anyone who says that Biblical Studies is uncool has me to answer to. I have a PhD in the subject area and I’ll floor the first person who says that makes me a weirdo! And, horror of horrors, I’m not at all religious. I have an interest in the area, but that doesn’t mean that I subscribe to everything that I study, in the same way that studying World War II doesn’t make you a Nazi SS officer.

But something horrible is happening in the realm of Bibical Studies (or ‘BS’ as it’s known to the hip kids). I noticed the rot setting in when I was an undergraduate student. A number of BS staff left my university and they were not replaced. This signalled to me that the University was not willing to invest in the subject area and huge alarm bells started to ring, particularly as this was a subject area that I was hoping to find employment in. The panic settled for a while, but over the past few months a number of BS staff and even entire BS departments have come under threat. Recently my colleagues and I were (willingly) forced to rally round and attempt to save Sheffield University staff from losing their Biblical Studies department. The support on the Internet for Sheffield BS Department was overwhelming; a Facebook group was started, many BS bloggers blogged their disgust on the matter and a number of emails were sent to the Vice Chancellor. Thankfully, in this case, the department was saved.

Now certain members of BS staff at the University of Gloucestershire are under threat, including a good friend of mine, Lloyd Pietersen, who has just heard that his post has been made redundant. And again, the reason for the job cuts appears to be purely financial. Lloyd is even considering leaving University life behind and changing his career direction as a result, and I really can’t blame him for feeling so disenchanted with the system…

When anyone asks why I have a PhD in Theology but do not work in a related field, I explain that I’ve been reluctant to step into academia, particularly into the field of Biblical Studies, for exactly this reason. Biblical Studies appears to be a soft target for cost cutting and yes, while it’s not exactly carrying out cutting-edge research into cancer fighting treatments, it is a real, tangible subject area with a dynamic publication rate and a huge scholarly base. Besides, I worry that if we keep beating the beast long enough, it’s going to die. Biblical Studies, and maybe Theology in general at this rate, will cease to be taught and it will become one of those weird and arcane sounding subject areas that were taught in the Universities of the Italian Renaissance. Theology and Philosophy based subjects will be jettisoned in favour of science-based subjects and eventually our kids will grow up with only Sports Technology, Media, or Business Enterprise as degree options *yawn*. No matter how you feel about Biblical studies as a research area, you must admit that the rise of new, numbskull, ‘leave your brain at the door’ degrees (especially the ‘Heath and Beauty’–esque degrees) gives you an urge to scratch out your own eyes. We need to keep our children’s brains ticking over…at all costs!

So thanks, University of Sheffield and University of Gloucestershire, for setting such a fine example of support and enthusiasm for Biblical Studies and thereby discouraging me and other young scholars from going into the world of academia. It sends out a fantastic message to aspiring undergraduate students and really makes the established scholars in the field feel valued and secure. Great job guys…



PS If you want to join the fight to save Lloyd, please join the Facebook Group 'SAVE WIL, LLOYD AND OTHER FCH STAFF BEING CUT AND OUR MONEY!' and inundate both Paul Bowler (pbowler@glos.ac.uk) and Patricia Broadfoot (vc@glos.ac.uk) at the University of Gloucestershire and show your disgust!!

Dicking around or desecration?

Figures have been released on the eve of Remembrance Day revealing that war memorials are being desecrated at the rate of more than one a week. There has been a rash of these stories in the news recently, most notably the image of ‘sports tech’ student (*snigger snigger*) Philip Laing relieving himself on a memorial in Sheffield city centre (right). Note to self: join the Facebook group ‘Phil Laing - Scum Of The Earth’ and book a seat on the coach trip to piss on his memorial in 60yrs time.

Again, as I mentioned in an earlier post, why do Brits feel the need to punch themselves in the face repeatedly so often? Can’t we just be proud of ourselves without feeling uncool about it? And why is it that we are proud to be British at sporting events such as the World Cup and The Ashes, but we go around spraying graffiti on the graves of our own British war heroes? WTF?!?!

Here’s an idea: catch the vandals, enlist them in the army and dispatch them immediately to Afghanistan. Hopefully they’ll take the place of some of the real men that we’re losing out there and, to be honest, the UK could do with a chav cull.