Gok has been running an ongoing campaign and petitioning the government to add a weekly, one-hour body confidence class to the school curriculum. According to Gok a ‘lack of body confidence has become a national epidemic among British teenagers.’ I admire Gok and will continue to support him with his fashion endeavours, but I suspect that teaching body confidence in schools will end up inflicting more damage on our kids in the long run. Here’s why…
Are young girls really insecure about their appearance?
So you’re telling me that a high percentage of young girls feel unconfident about their appearance? Are you kidding me?! Try telling that to the giggling, glammed-up girls in tiny, lycra skirts and mega tight shirts that pile onto the bus outside my local school. Or the slap-laden teens in the city centre clubs, squeezed into tiny glitzy dresses and throwing themselves at anything male in the vicinity. You’re telling me that they have body issues?! C’mon. Give these girls any more body confidence and they’ll be standing on the street corners at night looking for business. There is no way on God’s little green earth that these girls have body confidence issues.
Dissatisfaction with our appearance is in vogue
Teens appear to be very confident and yet 70% of them claim that they have little or no body confidence. Why is that so? Here’s the thing; we have become so obsessed recently with embracing our bodies warts-and-all that it has become cool to emphasise our shortcomings and lament that we are unsatisfied with our appearance. It’s cool to point out our lumps and bumps and whine that we need cosmetic surgery or complain about how much makeup we need to pile on each morning before leaving the house. No-one wants to be the smarmy, self-confident girl who says ‘well, actually, I’m quite happy with the way I look, thank you’. If you are truly satisfied with your appearance then you are a social pariah. That’s why a class of schoolgirls all raise their hand when asked how many of them lack body confidence. If each of those girls looked like Megan Fox then they would still complain that they were ugly!
The embarrassment of confronting the problem
It is clear, however, that within any focus group there will be a small percentage of girls who have genuine body confidence issues. But I’m not sure that Gok’s campaign will be of any help to them. In fact I think it might cause them to feel even more insecure. When I was a teenager I suffered with the same insecurities about my appearance as every other girl in my class, regardless of whether they were drop-dead gorgeous or out-and-out ugly. Everyone went through the same phase. Now if someone, like Gok, had gushed at me that I looked beautiful then I would have been very offended and most probably punched him in the nose for being patronising. And I would certainly have been absolutely devastated if we had been forced to take a class on the subject! It would have been classroom based, teacher led bullying! I would have been so delighted to make lists of my insecurities on the board in front of my classmates! And I would have been thrilled to sit in small groups and discuss them in-depth with my friends! Why not go the whole hog and have a class exploring why some kids are thicker than others?!
The truth is that girls with genuine body confidence issues do not want their shortcomings pointed out in front of their peers.
Insecurity as a natural part of puberty
What is the problem with letting a natural stage of human development take its course? Childhood and puberty has entailed wrestling with body confidence issues since the dawn of time and the human race has somehow managed to prosper. We haven’t all withered away in caves afraid to go out in public and find a mate! We all grow in confidence naturally without the need for an artificial shove along the track.
Learning to accept what nature has given us
When I was at school there were attractive girls and there were unattractive girls, in the same way that there were smart girls and dim girls, or athletic girls and unfit girls. We accepted that life had dealt us our hand. We knew that we couldn’t all go to University or be picked for the basketball team. Everyone knew their place and life ticked along pretty fine.
If truth be told, the sooner that we realise that nature will always be been kinder to some more than others, accept that and come to terms with it the better. Gok’s campaign smacks of the school rule that all kids must win a prize at sports day so that no-one feels like a loser, or government drives that all school leavers must get a place at University so that no-one feels that they have inferior intelligence. Life doesn’t work like that. We need to know our strengths and failings before we hit adult-life and get a horrific wake-up call.
Encouraging our kids to grow up too fast
We’re constantly being scolded for encouraging our kids to grow up too quickly. We criticise shops for selling bras to very young girls but we never question where the demand for these products originates from. Is it the evil shop salesperson or stock buyer? Or is the media putting the idea that young girls need cosmetics, high heels and bras into their parent’s minds? I understood that society was trying to prevent this growing trend? And am I the only person who finds telling a teenager that she is attractive a little bit creepy?
Maybe the lack of body confidence that accompanies puberty is Mother Nature’s method of ensuring that young girls do not turn into the ultra body confident, tarted-up jailbait flirting with the boys at the school gates that is rapidly becoming the norm. Maybe Gok should ask himself whether a lack of body confidence is nature’s way of safeguarding our children rather than repressing them after all?
i as a teenager totally disagree with your point of veiw, not all teenagers cover themselves in slap and where dresses that are so short it just about covers there bottoms. Some teenagers have body confidence issues which follow them into adulthood. Body confidence also gives you a self confidence boost which is good when trying to make new friends or just speaking out in class.
ReplyDeleteI was anorexic and buliemic and was working a shot girl in UK clubs, and wore next to nothing selling vodka shots and appeared to be the most body confident person in the world. Don't pretend to know about something you don't know anything about. A confident woman doesn't feel like she has to dress up to the nines to get attention. Girls throwing themselves at men and wearing revealing clothes feel sbad about themselves want attention and they feel that it is the only way they will get it. I think what Gok is doing is great.
ReplyDeleteI find it weird also that you think most teenagers dont have self esteem issues. Im sorry but I am a psychologist and teenagers are the people with the lowest self esteem. The fact they are putting on the makeup etc is just something to mask this or make them feel better about themselves. Strip away the makeup and they hate what they see. Most girls will have a eating problem at some point in their lives and self harm in teenagers is on the rise. I do not doubt that some people love themselves but this is not found in those that wear a lot of makeup...they would have to love themselves without the makeup too. I can see where you might get this idea...but maybe look into it more. Read up on it a little more....go on google scholar and read some articles on it. If you still think this way then fair enough. But to make an informed decision I think you need to look into it more.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I certainly do not doubt that most teenagers are plagued with self esteem issues but, as a young female commenting on first-hand observations of other young female friends and acquaintances, I am concerned about the effects of this ‘hyper-confidence’ drive on those at the opposite end of the spectrum (with whom I come into regular contact with on a daily basis). I have also been convinced through conversation with female friends looking retrospectively at issues that they suffered during puberty that these self-esteem ‘wobbles’ are a necessary phase of human development and they serve an important purpose in the life of the teenager. It’s wrong of us to tamper with them just for entertainment value.
ReplyDeleteOften teenage girls dress up, because they're insecure, they wear make-up because they're insecure. I think the vast majority of girls struggle with body image because of society; they just have different ways of coping with it. I, personally, struggle with body image and I'm working on it (thankfully, now there are more on days than off days, but it's taken a long time) but I wish there had been someone at school to talk to the majorities. I think everyone needs to know, rather than just individuals being told themselves, because sometimes it's difficult to not listen to the majority. I think it's a brilliant idea, I also think both boys and girls should realise how much their comments can affect people, even if they don't necessarily mean them.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that he will affect those that are already confident; I think it'll help them understand that people aren't just whining, it is in fact a mindset that they're in. The biggest thing I struggle with is that one moment it's "wrong" to be fat and the next moment it's "wrong" to be fat, I think he's attempting to rectify this warped mindset. It sounds cliche, but it's about the person and their personality, not what their size is.
I completely hear where you’re coming from. The focus should be on the collective rather than singling out individuals. Pointing out the differences only makes those individuals feel even more self-conscious about themselves. There needs to be a focus on correcting the public’s attitude to each other, regardless of our appearance and particularly when damaging or hurtful comments are made. Without this in place I worry that a person with low self-esteem can be build up to max confidence when isolated from their tormentors, only to see their new found confidence crash and burn the very second they come into contact with the bullies. Society needs to stop worrying about whether someone is fat or thin and trying to ‘correct’ their appearance to the norm by handing out fashion tips and instead start focusing on the character/personality of the person in question, showcasing their individuality and telling us that it’s ok not to fit in and it’s ok to look different to the next person. There’s no shame in that, but Gok’s campaign kinda suggests that there is. And you’re right, the most important change that society needs to make is to make bullying behaviour totally unacceptable. The outcast should be the bully and not the person who dares to look different to the ‘norm’.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. For what it’s worth, you sound real nice and level-headed. And no amount of make-up, fake tan, fake nails or plastic surgery can give someone a nice personality :)
I dont think that teenage insecurity is a necessary "wobble". is it necessary for teenage girls to feel so disgusted by them selves that they feel they arnt allowed to eat, despite being underweight already? well thats how ive felt and thats not right. Yes everyone these days says they dont like their body but the majority are telling the truth. Those girls dressing up and throwing them selves on anything with a pulse just want to be accepted. A little bit of male attention makes them feel slightly less hideous for about 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry to rant, its just all that make up is to cover up the insecurities rather than to embrace a face that we love.
I wish i could accept myself for what i am.. ive got to go to therapy about it, and i wish all this could of been avoided by being taught to love what weve been given.